Thursday, December 10, 2009

The Layers

Purity of Mind: Day 7 - Removing the mask
Luke 12:1-3
Watch yourselves carefully so you don't get contaminated with Pharisee yeast, Pharisee phoniness.  You can't keep your true self hidden forever; before long you'll be exposed.  You can't hide behind a religious mask forever; sooner or later the mask will slip and your true face will be known.  You can't whisper one thing in private and preach the opposite in public.
There is a quote from the movie shrek, which I can't remember completely, but it talks about people being like onions and having lots of layers.  Well I think over the last couple of years I have changed heaps as a person and I think that a lot of this has to do with the fact that over the last few years I have been shedding the layers that I wore, or the masks that I wore when I was with others.  The masks that made me feel safe and secure, the ones that made me feel pretty, cool and confident. 

I think that there are a few reasons why they have started coming off...1. as much as I hate to admit it, I am growing up...and hopefully getting wiser.  2.  I have learnt that people actually like me because of who I am, not because of what I can do or what I have and 3.  Its really tiring carrying all that stuff around.  Its hard work holding up the walls and remembering who you are supposed to be when...perhaps I am just getting lazy, or complacent, but in general I am much happier, I actually like who God created me to be...sure I am a little werid and quirky, but thats ok. Although I do have to continue to remember to leave the masks off and not put them on everytime I feel a little insecure or do something new.  I need to take them off and leave them off.  


Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Just keep praying...

Purity of Mind: Day 6 - Praying through pain
Psalm 90:10
Seventy years are given to us! Some even eighty.  But even the best years are filled with pain and trouble; soon they disappear, and we fly away.
This is something that I really struggle with...not because I don't pray, but more that I can't just leave it with God.  The thing is I am kind of a control freak, I like to know whats happening and when and exactly how it is going to go, just so that nothing takes me by surprise.  At the moment I am going through some tough stuff, nothing that will kill me, just things that are out of my control, and there certainly is pain and I don't really like it much.  And even though I have prayed about it, and I know that God knows my heart, I still struggle to take comfort in the fact that he has it under control and that I don't need to fear because whatever happens God will still be there.  I don't really know the answer to this, I guess its something that I am still learning, but I guess until then I just keep praying and try to trust...


Tuesday, December 8, 2009


Purity of Mind: Day 5 - A New Season

Isaiah 43:18-19
Forget about what's happened; don't keep going over old history.  Be alert, be present.  I'm about to do something brand new.  It's bursting out!  Don't you see it? There it is! I'm making a road through the desert, rivers in the badlands.

Sometimes I get really caught up on the things I have experienced with God in the past, so much so that is stops me from seeking the next bit.  I guess I have been lucky...maybe blessed is a better word...enough to have been born and raised in a Christian household where the things of God were constantly around me.  I don't think that I have actually known what it is not to have God in my life.  Through this I have seen and experienced some pretty remarkable things, including massive supernatural things like healing, being slain in the spirit, people speaking in tounges and amazing transformations in people lives.  

Anyway, I think that as I have gotten older I have seen less and less of these things well everything except the last one.  As a now adult (although I still find it hard to believe) I experience God in my life in a very different way.  However, I guess because its not as in your face as the ways of the past sometimes I think it is less significant, which isn't the case at school would always say, 'it's not good, it's not bad, it's just different'.  The thing is because I keep expecting that I will experience God like I used to, I block him from doing something new.  But really thats all that I want, an encounter, however, I think that one of the reasons I haven't had this yet is that I am not listening all that well, because I know that my relationship with him is past the one of warm fuzzies to get me by, now the commitments are super long term, and normally cause me to go out of my comfort zone.  I know that I want something new, but I know that I also need the courage to listen and obey... whatever happens.  

So here I am God, asking for something new, a fresh dream, a new drive, but I also need to you fill me with you strength and give me courage...     


Monday, December 7, 2009

Luke Warm

Purity of Mind: Day 4 - What's on your mind?

James 4:8
Come close to God, and God will come close to you.  Wash your hands, you sinners, purify your hearts, for your loyalty is divided between God and the world.

I find that when God wants to tell me something he doesn't just tell me once.  He tells me in a number of different ways, just to make sure I really get it.  Its been a while since I have blogged and there are a number of reasons for this, well maybe not reasons, maybe excuses.  Christmas is just around the corner and as a result my life has become a little nuts.  However over the weekend, I was thinking about how much I love Davo (sad I know), but while I was thinking about it, I felt like God was asking me if I love him as much as I love Dave.  My first thought was yes of course I do and more, but then I felt God gently ask, 'well how come you make such an effort to hangout with him, but not with me?'

Now just to clear something up before I go on, I really struggle with the 'Jesus is my boyfriend' type relationship that some people experience with God.  This isn't what it is like for me, but having said that I was really challenged by this question.  Because the thing is I am often super desperate to hang out with Dave and just enjoy his company, especially if I have been in Castlemaine all week, but I don't think that I have that same longing to hang out with God.  I really wish that I did and this little question really challenged me about where my priorities were at.  So hence, I am back on the blog trying again...

Here is the cool bit though, today's devotion... all about spending time with God and how it so important to hang out with him so that we grow from the inside out.  You know, just in case I didn't get the first time.  Anyway, in the devotion it takes the challenge even further and suggests that if you aren't spending time with God daily then perhaps your relationship with him is simply luke warm, in which case you are going to be spit out of his mouth (revelation 3:16).  I know that my relationship with him is not luke warm, but I guess it is definitley at risk of heading that way if I don't pull me finger out and start seeking him.  I think as I have gotten older, and busier it has become so much easier to take for granted the journey I have had so far with God, and sometimes I get so comfortable that I forget to keep going.  I don't want to be luke warm, I want to be hot, on fire....the way I am supposed to be. 

So here is attempt two...


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